Finding More Happiness

We all naturally strive to be happy in life but this desire is not always translated into reality as without knowing, our efforts to achieve this are often hampered by other factors.

It's a bit like being on a train all excited about where you're headed but on arrival, realising that it wasn't what you hoped or expected. So here's some tips to help you find a happier outcome to your journey.

Tips for More Happiness

Set realistic expectations about what will bring you happiness

Images and expectations of happiness from society, media, social media aren't necessarily realistic or sustainable. Recognise that it's impossible to be happy all of the time, that appearances are deceptive, that everyone has ups and downs and experiences a mixture of emotions.

Focus on internal rather than external happiness

Instead of focusing on changing your job, partner, social life to bring you happiness, recognise that whilst these things may bring you happiness, it's through internal changes that bring a more longer-lasting change. Happiness fundamentally comes from yourself as if you're not happy with who you are, changing something externally won't miraculously fix this.

Building confidence and self-esteem to help you feel happier with who you are helps you to build healthier and happier relationships with others and make any external changes you make more successful.

Improve your ability to self-reflect

The more aware you are of your thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, the more you can proactively build more happiness. Check in with your levels of stress, energy and happiness frequently throughout the day so that you can make more positive decisions. Spot unhelpful expectations, negative self-talk, limiting beliefs and patterns so you can work on addressing these as well as noticing clues about anything else that will bring you more happiness.

Follow joy

Notice moments of joy from the simple things in life such as listening to birdsong, noticing beautiful things in nature, enjoying culture, spending time with loved ones. Savour these moments by being as present as possible and expanding them further. Notice what you are passionate about, what makes your heart sing, and devote more time to these activities. Surround yourself with people and situations that make you feel good about yourself, bring meaning to your life and bring joy or fun.

Build gratitude 

For what you have already in life, what you appreciate, what you would like more of, what you have learnt from the challenges of life, what you might take for granted such as your health. We get more of what we focus on so practising noticing the things that are already working in your life helps to expand this further.

Work towards self-acceptance 

Rather than trying to change who you are - Imagining you would be happier if you were someone else or different, creates potential frustration, disappointment, self-loathing, self-criticism which is constant and ongoing as it's impossible to fundamentally change you are. Instead working towards self-acceptance and being more self-compassionate is a strategy with greater odds of success.

Interpret life through a lens of self-compassion

If something is going wrong or you're having an off day, remind yourself that you are a human being doing your best and that life can be challenging. Whatever is happening is not necessarily a reflection of who you are. We all make mistakes, say or do something we might regret, "fail" at something or get rejected but this is nothing to chastise or be ashamed of. Instead try to see it as a learning opportunity towards a longer term process of success or happiness. We are all human with imperfections that make us special or unique and lead us to the people, hobbies or situations where we can thrive.

If you’re searching for more happiness in your life, you may wish to read my book, Being Human, the path to self-acceptance, resilience and happiness. You may be interested in counselling or spiritual coaching, if so, please get in touch with me for a free, no-obligation chat. You can also access my courses including my Love Transforms workshop and my online meditation course.